How staying away from Facebook and Instagram is making me smarter
First of all, let me tell you it was not a conscious decision to stay away from both these social media accounts. A few months ago my iPhone screen cracked, and it took me a good month to replace it. I’m mum to a 2yo and I needed to prioritise.
I got another phone, and had to re-login into every account. Like most people, I could not remember my facebook, insta, gmail and a host of other account passwords. To cut the long story short, I needed a good uninterupted half an hour or so to get these passwords sorted. I did not have the luxury of that kind of time. Days became weeks, and meanwhile I re-discovered other means of keeping myself busy, entertained, motivated, call it what you may.
Gardening
I always had a balcony garden, so this activity is not new to me. However, now that I had more time away from browsing eternally long newsfeeds, I spend my time tending, weeding, trimming, changing plants from old to new pots, cleaning the balcony, etc on a daily basis, watering, decorating etc. All this requires dedicated time once or twice a day. Earlier if a plant was dying, I’d give up in a few days. I would attempt at salvaging them, then end up replacing them with another plant far sooner than necessary. I learned the art of obtaining a ‘cutting’ from another plant and then replanting them. It was a money saver, and I learnt the life skill of ‘not giving up’. I rarely buy a plant now. My plants are all healthy and even if the weather or bugs sickens them, all I have to do is pay a little more attention to them, and they bounce back to life. I learned that plants that look like they are dying, are in most cases just going through a phase. Keep appropriately watering them and they will be fine. I can go on and on about my gardening stories and tips but shall end it here for now. The bottomline is that I revived my dying garden, and now get to spend quality time on a truly zen activity. Pictures below for attention.
I joined twitter 10 years ago, but used it very little. Except for one or two people, there was nobody on Twitter that I needed to ‘keep in touch with’. Therein lies one of the most underrated features of twitter. I will expound, briefly, why.
I love the fact that I am following, and followed by strangers. There is zero expectation (no need for a birthday wish, etc). I follow people because I am interested in what they say. If I change my mind about an account, I just unfollow them, and there is no bad blood. We are strangers after all. My timeline on twitter is mostly controlled by me. I love writing and technology, and twitter serves me just those tweets. Most times, the best of those tweets. It is a welcome respite that I am not served with a thousand different ways to make desserts in 5 minutes, or be shown exquisite ‘vacation’ ads that I have no time for. Who does not want to go on a vacation? Constantly reminding people, about places that are kinda out of reach, does not help. Infact it makes them unhappy with what they have. Why would any company want to do that to a person?
Well, I connected with a lot of great writers off late on twitter. I participate in vss365 tweets almost everyday, and it makes me so happy that I can use twitter at my own pace, because like I said earlier, nothing is personal so nobody I know takes offense. Ofcourse I intentionally stay away from tweets that are personal, and negative trending topics. I learn good stuff about writing, writers, read amazing poems, learn about how people are living in different timezones. I learn about tech trends, scientfic research, startup related developments and news by reading the tweets of some really learned and facinating people.
Twitter has some rare pearls of data, and it is so much fun, when you are able to discover them on your own.
Reading
Besides gardening, and twittering, I also have more time to read books, both hardcover and online. I also read blogs, and write. I won’t lie when I tell you that, staying away from Facebook is really allowing me all this. It truly is. I opened my cupboard and there were all these books neatly arranged, that had been lying around for years. I have read most of them, but I read them again. It’s what I used to do years ago when there was little online social pressure. I used to re-read my old favorite books once or twice a year. The reason why I did it was because I was bored, and had nothing else to do, so I used to reach out for the closest book. It is good to be bored. It helps one find creative ways to entertain you. It also expands your imagination.
I recently read Treasure Island again, and boy I wish I tell you what ‘else’ I’ve learned from it. I wish my phone had broken earlier. I am more connected to the world, but in a nice way. Nobody expects an action from me. No more ‘likes’ pressure. 😉
Books are magical. They teach me things, that nobody else can and take me to places that I do not need to physically be at, to have a good time. As a child in boarding school, books were my weekend getaway. They still care for me, the way nothing else can. I’ve learned that books, like wine, get better with time. Their meanings change, and new perspectives and ideas come to light every time you read them. The best thing that happened to me recently, was that my son started mimicking me as I began to read more books. Sometimes he will ask me to read his favorite stories, and other times he will sit beside me just leafing through the pages by himself. He will be two and a half in a few months. He also has his own watering can, to help me water the plants.
In the now
I am not somebody who likes to share too much of my personal life with people. Or so I thought. I don’t know when I metamorphized into this being who felt the need to share pictures of mundane parts of my life. It probably all began so that I would not have to send pictures into individual accounts..and instead I uploaded them all onto a common platform aka FB or Insta. That way my friends and family could see it in all in one place. But, as time went by, I am quite sure I did it many times, just for the heck of it. Why would anyone need to know what I had for breakfast. As much as I enjoyed the process, I have never felt right about it.
Now when I go to a restaurant I don’t touch my phone, unless I need to answer a call. I do not feel the urge to start snapping pictures of my three course meal, and lemon souffle. I pay attention to what I am eating, I talk to whoever is across the table, and we completely forget to take selfies. It is a respite from the old itch I had, to constantly look at my phone. I have a kid now. I think it is critical as a parent to be aware of what is going around you, especially in public places. I don’t know about other people, but I have certainly become less distracted, and I think it is helping me be a better parent. On FB I had over 800 friends, and I must have liked a million pages so between those two, my timeline was an unending scroll. By being ‘ in the now’, I have learned to be self-aware and be less distracted.
What can I say, I am truly living more, as opposed to contantly being in everybody’s buisness. We do not realzie that between Instagram and Facebook, how much of time we lose and what ‘kachra’ we allow into our lives. The best takeaway from this is that my son, does not ask for my phone to play with.
Exploring my interests
Besides reading, writing and gardening, I enjoy photography, and every now and then I enjoy making Marwari pickles and snacks for my family and friends. Except photography (the outdoor kind that I love and don’t have time for now) I do all of the other stuff. My friends always ask me “where do you find the time?” You may wonder..how can making pickles and gardening make someone smarter?
The only answer I have for that is that as long as I am learning new things, like reading a new book, learning to cook an old family recipe, reading pearls of wisdom from the likes of Paul Graham and learning to commune with nature while tending to my garden, then I am sure that I am getting smarter.
I have nothing personal against Facebook and Instagram. Infact I did have fun while being on it. I just feel, personally, it took way too much of my time, and it took me a long time to realize how much. Time, in my opinion is priceless. How you choose to spend it, is vital and it directly impacts the quality of your life. My learning curve while on facebook, and without it, is poles apart.
I have a kid to raise, and I cannot waste the little free time I have by scrolling and scrolling and scrolling peoples lives, and random posts. What I can do, is make a phone call to the people I care about. I can make a real attempt to remember birthdays, and make time to visit a friend and have coffee with.
Thank you for reading. Please write and tell if you have had a similar experience.
